Do you believe in love? Ku'Lani's very own DJ Fauxy Shepherd and his partner, Houston Faulkes met in Second Life almost 17 years ago, and are now married RL. Read on to hear my interview with them about how they took their enduring romance from SL to RL, and their advice for other couples who meet in SL.
How did you two meet in SL?
Fauxy: We met at a beach resort, Hot 'n Hung, when I first joined SL in April 2007. I became friends with the club owner and started to DJ there.
Houston: Hot 'n Hung was a gay/furry nude beach sim.
Fauxy: When I was DJing there, I met Houston, and because I was from Texas and the Houston area, I went “Hey! are you from Houston?” He said no, he was from Louisiana, just a state over and only a 4 hour drive from me RL.
Houston: Yeah, you were a blue fox at the time we met by the way, and not a human avatar.
Fauxy: Yes, I was a little blue fox. I started SL as a furry.
How did your relationship evolve in SL?
Houston: We were dating, mostly just chatted a lot, and talked via phone even.
Fauxy: We are VERY compatible in our love of music, movies, art, and culture. We married in SL 4 months later, in August 2007. It was pretty quick, we just matched to a T. Everything was a match.
When did your RL meeting happen?
Houston: Maybe a few weeks before we got married in SL, we met RL.
Fauxy: My father had a stroke, and after he passed away, I needed to get away. Houston said, “Come see me.” I just got in my car and drove. I just said, “I am coming,” and drove the 4 hours and ended up at his door. We spent a lovely weekend together, with food, talking, and movies.
What were your biggest fears or concerns about meeting in real life?
Houston: Mostly it was anxiety about meeting expectations.
Fauxy: Yes, I agree. Generally speaking, what you see in SL is not what you get in RL
Houston: When we did meet...the anxiety melted in a matter of minutes
Fauxy: Yes, that first kiss. That was the first thing we did, is kiss, and the anxiety just melted, as he said.
Can you describe the moment you first saw each other in person?
Fauxy: Sheer bliss. To hold him in my arms was bliss. We had already had pictures of each other.
Houston: Yes, we shared RL photos. And yep, I invited him in, shut the door...and we locked arms and lips.
What surprised you most about your partner when you met in real life?
Fauxy: That he was the most fantastic Chef ever! Man can he cook hehehe. He is Cajun and learned from his Mom, who was also a fabulous cook. And that he was a tender lover.
Houston: For me, not so much that it was a surprise....but his experience of being out as gay was so much longer than my own....so his experience was appreciated...if that makes sense? I didn't realize how much support that would actually be.
What challenges did you face transitioning from a virtual to a real-life relationship?
Houston: The distance was the biggest challenge.
Fauxy: Yes. But I made the trip at least 2 times a month. On vacation he came to Galveston, where I originally lived, before we moved to Houston, after hurricane Ike. We also went on vacation together. We spent a weekend in New Orleans then flew to Houston then drove to Dallas, Austin then San Antonio and back home to Galveston. So, a week together in different cities, just enjoying the food, culture, and museums.
Tell me more about how your relationship transitioned from SL to RL.
Houston: Hurricane Ike changed a lot in our lives
Fauxy: I lived and was raised on Galveston Island. My family home, after my dad passed away, was up for sale.. and it got 8 feet of water from major flooding... my condo/townhouse, got 3.5 feet of water.
Houston: Fauxy had no usable home...so he came to my place to sort things out. That cemented our relationship all the more. My mom passed away right around the same time as well. So that actually brought us closer too.
Fauxy: Later I got a new job at a small company in Houston, then moved to Houston, 50 miles north of Galveston. That is when I asked Houston, who wanted to retire, to move in with me. In February 2008 he moved here. Then on August 23, 2019, when it was legal in Texas, we married RL. Right after we got the license we just went upstairs and found a judge. We married in front of the sweetest judge; she was newly elected and was thrilled because we were the first gay couple the she married. It was just us, we did not want a big wedding, just simple, done and legal.
How has your Second Life experience influenced your relationship?
Houston: I would say that the initial anonymity breaks down barriers, so you get to know each other faster. You are less reserved.
Fauxy: True. It was all text back then, no voice. You can say things in SL that you cannot in RL.
Houston: and share "secrets" if you will, more readily. So, SL definitely contributed to the speed of the relationship.
Do you still do things in Second Life together?
Houston: We do have separate interests, but I would say the music is the thing that unites us most. It was what brought us together and keeps us together. And of course, SHOPPING. Am not sure who's worse in that category (he points at Fauxy)
Fauxy: Yes, I am a shopping whore in all lives :P
How do you balance your RL and SL lives?
Fauxy: I have a heart condition, Cardiomyopathy, which I got from a virus during Hurricane Ike, and all the mold in the air. So, I cannot get Covid. If I do, I will not have a good outcome. So going out in public, to movie theaters etc. is a non-starter. Too many in Texas do not care, do NOT wear masks etc. So we stay in, except for a RL dinner out on Friday nights and Saturday to the grocery store. Then its here, in SL, where we live perfectly happy lives interacting with friends all over the world. And I do a lot of DJ sets. And he loves to build, he is an award-winning architect RL. So, his need to build is strong. He's learning Mesh and Blender, and plans to build Art Deco, furnishings, houses, and custom builds.
Houston: and short answer.....no need to balance time...I'm retired, so my time is my own. And Fauxy is able to work from home, with 4 screens in a huge array.
What misconceptions do people have about relationships that start online?
Fauxy: I'm not sure about any misconceptions, except that maybe, this is NOT real. It is VERY real. There is a real person on this side of the screen. In SL our emotions are magnified 1000%.
Houston: A misconception would be "how do you truly know the person?"
Fauxy: Yes. But with voice now that is easy. Before when we did not have voice, it was all a guessing game. It comes down to TRUST.
Houston: Also, what I answered earlier, that in many ways the nature of the app breaks down barriers. And....even people you first meet in RL....you can always say, "Do you truly know the person?" It's not so different.
What's next for your relationship?
Fauxy: Europe. We plan to take a long 17-day tour of Scotland and UK proper.
Houston: As we get older, we wanted to do a big trip before we get to old to unable to manage a big trip of that nature. We are both big anglophiles. Its everything Harry Potter, The Crown, Queen Victoria, etc.
Fauxy: And we have a Pembroke Corgi 😜 My 6th Corgi actually. We both love all things "British." So, most of the trip is visiting castles, museums, anything Harry Potter, including the train trip on the HP train, through Scotland. While we are in Scotland, we are meeting some very good friends from SL in Edinburgh, when we start our trip there.
What advice would you give to other couples who meet in SL?
Houston: Be yourself.
Fauxy: That. And be patient, do not rush. Do not judge. Keep an open mind.
Houston: Don't let others pressure you into things you don't want to do
Fauxy: It is POSSIBLE for a relationship to go from SL to RL. Anything is possible in SL. You just have to be honest, and trusting, and trustworthy, to build a true honest relationship.
Houston: And conversely trust your gut, if you're uncomfortable, you don't have to pursue things.
Thank you, gentlemen, for sharing your remarkable love story with us!
An absolutely beautiful love story <3 Well written!
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